You were prepared. You did your research. You knew that puppies are hard work. And you were ready for it. You jumped in with optimism and compassion, eager to be an amazing “parent” to this fuzzy bundle of joy.
But it’s been so much harder than you expected.
You’re exhausted all the time. Weirdly lonely all the time. You feel like a prisoner in your own home. You had big plans for this pup, but you don’t have the energy or the will to work on most of it.
“Is something wrong with me?” you’re thinking. “Is something wrong with my puppy?”
Nope.
The most well-prepared puppy parent on the planet can still be blindsided by how hard this is.
We’ve talked about the What The **** Was I Thinking phase (aka the puppy blues) before, and all the reasons someone might struggle with their pup.
But there’s one aspect we haven’t really talked about. At least not directly.
This:
“Puppies are hard work” is a misleading statement
That makes it sound like it’s all about the chores. Walks, training, puppy class, feeding, grooming, cleaning up a few messes.
What it’s actually about:
The sheer relentlessness of it all.
That’s what REALLY gets you. It’s why people hit day three and think “holy shit I just ruined my life.”
It’s not just the chores that make this so challenging; it’s all the time between the chores.
Picture this:
You do your morning routine with your puppy – take them out to potty, feed them, do a play session or a walk, work on some obedience training, aaaand done! Nice work!
But now what?
Clock is ticking.
You really have to get on with your day.
You have to work, or exercise, or study, or take the kids to school. But little Sparky, brand new innocent precious little baby, doesn’t understand how downtime works.
They’re not yet an experienced adult dog who knows how to just… exist. Who is used to the fact that life with humans involves a lot of time spent doing nothing.
Everything that we take for granted in our adult dogs, like the ability to leave them snoozing on the couch while you go upstairs to take a shower and be reasonably sure they won’t get into trouble, has to be taught to puppies.
Nothing prepares you for how the puppy ALWAYS has to be accounted for. It’s not like you do your puppy chores and then get to go back to your normal life. It’s like how a ten-year-old kid can be left to their own devices for much of the day. But a one-year-old child? Not so much.
You don’t get a break.
You sit down and doomscroll for a minute. Oops, puppy pooped on the floor when you weren’t looking!
You need to take a shower. Where is puppy going to be? In their playpen? …uhhh, turns out they can climb!
You need to work? No big deal, just put puppy in their crate. But the first time you put them in their crate and leave the room for one minute, they FREAK OUT. How the hell are they supposed to be crated for hours??
It’s even worse if you have little kids or other pets. Puppy is drawn to them like a moth to a flame. A moth with razor-sharp teeth. Now the kids want nothing to do with their new “best friend” and you’re pretty sure your cat will never forgive you.
Your entire life has been reduced to following a tiny fluffy maniac around yelling “no don’t do that!”
And that is the part that no one warned you about, because it’s hard to articulate. Unless you’re one of the lucky few who read posts like this before you bring your pup home, the only way to really get it is to do it.
The relentlessness is normal
Is there anything you can do to make it easier? Of course. It’s literally my job to teach puppy parents real, practical ways to shift the dynamics so that it’s actually fun and not just constant chaos and regret.
But just because these “setbacks” happened in the first place doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It doesn’t mean you won’t bond with your dog. It just means you’re in the thick of it. And it’s okay if this isn’t the joyful, magical experience you imagined yet.
